Well, I took all of my money off Poker4Ever as the games are really drying up on that site. 
I moved most of my roll to cake, and took some out and put it in the bank.

I haven't been playing enough lately.   I just cashed out 2k from my bankroll that was at 3k, because I had to pay for stuff, very annoying.  So, If I don't make AT LEAST 5k in September, I think I'm going to quit poker.  There's really no excuse for me not to have made more money. I just need to put in more time. 

I feel like this is going to be a really good week.  I finally have myself on a good sleep schedule, and it's amazing how much easier it is to play poker when you're not getting tired during the day.

Someone asked me what sites I play on.  Mainly stars and full tilt.  But I'm staying away from full tilt till they fix their cashout problems. .  Stars is my fallback site, and I'm checking out some small sites where I can get better rakeback deals.   I play on poker4ever some, but I think almost all the fish are almost completely gone from that network.  When I sit at a 6max table there,  at least 3 of the other players there are regs who usually play higher limits.  I really don't need good 2/4 players coming down and playing in my .50/1 games because they don't have enough games going at higher limits.  Even with the high rakeback, I think I'm making more $ at pokerstars because of better game selection, and faster software.  The everleaf gaming network p4e is on has the slowest poker software of any I have ever played on.  It's about 60hands/hr at 6max if you're lucky.

I feel like I have been getting crushed lately.  But in the past 3 weeks (since b4 I started this blog)  I started with a $450 bankroll, and now it is at $1500, and thats after having cashed out $1400.  I never once had more than 10% of my roll at risk either, so I was really just grinding.  I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE WINNING  all the time because I am better than other players, but that is unrealistic.  I have won a lot from what I started with.  I just need to be patient, put in more hours, and focus on playing better and better every day.  I am like an Olympic Athlete, like one of many great Olympic Athletes.  I am not however, Micheal Phelps who seems to have an auto win gold medals button.

So a few days ago I cashed out another $700.  Then the cash out curse hit me and I dropped almost 1k before stabilizing and starting to move back up.  It happens.  I looked over my hands, and even if I had not have made a few bad plays, I still would have been down at least 6-700.  Today I kept getting my big pairs cracked though and it was painfull.
I have been playing and winning at NL hold-em for years, and I still haven't figured out a great way to play aa and kk out of position deep.

For example: I have kk in the big blind today.  Deep stack Donk A makes it 3.5x.  One caller.  I re-pop to 15.5. Now you would think that this would be tipping off my hand, but against this particular player, it doesn't matter, because he loves to play deep (we both have about 200bb).  He will never fold any hand he opens with to a re-raise here, and If I raised to like 20+, he would probably fold, and then i'm also putting $20+ into a $8.  Looking back maybe that is what I should have done.   But I still want to get value.  ugggh.  Patience...

My favorite hand today was when I got some donkey to put in $120 into a $12 pot on the trn drawing to one out in a limped pot.   A65 flop.  I bet $4 with my set of sixes. He calls with J5 flush drw. Trn is a 5
so now A655 board.  The donkey fish has over $100 behind and there is like $18 or something in the pot and he goes into stakoff mode.

I feel like I played the hand wrong, but I don't think it was that bad.  I could have folded the river, but then that opens up the door for being bluffed.  Any time you fold in a certain spot, some player will notice, and might try to bluff you later, and then you start thinking, wait well is he trying to bluff me now becaues he saw me fold or does he have it this time. 
On this particular hand, he ended up turning a flush, and I lost only about 80bb of my 120 stack.  I think i played it pretty well.   I think the best thing to do in these situations, is to just not over analyze, and go with your instincts. (assuming you have them.)

*It hurts when someone bluffs you for a big pot and shows their bluff- it hurts twice as much as making a bad call all in because you're usually getting 2to1 on those all in calls.  So I think feel is more important than math here.

I'm finally starting to break out of the muck of the past week of breaking even.  It's basically been making hands against bad players, and occasionally tricking the regulars who just assume everyone they don't know is a bad player.

My goal is to build my roll to 80k before December 08.  I feel that it is good to have high expectations for yourself.

So, I'm trying to figure out how to add pictures to my blog, because it's boring to talk about how bad I have been running the past 3 days... My roll has been sesawing up and down between 1200ish and 1700ish.
at least I made a lot of rakeback.  It's going to be tough to turn my roll into 5 figures by the end of the month if I keep this up...

So yesterday I made about $400 in 5 hours.  Which sort of makes up for the 300 I lost the day before but not really. Been playing mostly NL100 as I feel like playing any higher with my small roll would be suicide at the moment.
I would really like to get my $700 cash out...  3 business days so far.
It seems like without fail, what ever site I am currently playing on always has a withdrawal issue as soon as I want to cash out.

So, yesterday was terrible. I managed to blow through about $300 in 7 hrs.   I didn't play my A++ game, but I definitely was at least in the B+ A- range, and that should have been more than enough for the people I was playing against.  Definitely my worst day in about 2 weeks

I am not making excuses though, it's part of the game.  It just just very frustrating though because I woke up this morning and realized that the amount of money I make this week is going to shape my financial future for the next year.  If i make enough this week, I can cash out and get completely caught up on my bills for the rest of the month, and I will be able to just build my roll up instead of cashing out 70-80% of my weekly profit like I have been doing.  I will also have enough that I could almost live off just my rakeback, so in september I could keep building.  If I can put my social life and everything else on hold for just this week and grind hard, I think I will be fine for the rest of the year.

There is really no way now that I should be averaging less than 2k per week after Rakeback, even though my roll is only $1300 now.  Even on my $300 loss yesterday, my stats say I made $144 in rakeback.  by my own calc I thought I was still closer to $115, but either way it's plenty enough to completely offset my loosing days by the end of the week. (assuming i don't have a sickly bad run one week).

I used to think the bad player's favorite hand was QJ, now I am thinking it is second to A10 and K10.  All day yesterday I would have over pairs vs. those guys who never fold preflop, and they would 5 out me. 
10 hi flop. Happened with KK, JJ, and QQ.  Ever time, they either ck raise ai for their 60bb stack, or they lead out.

* then theres the guys who lead out for pot with mid pairs in 3 and 4 way pots and always trn 2 pair..

2 players specifically took all my money.  Every time a big hand came up, they either had me beat or somehow made the nuts, or flopped flushes... it was sick.  And I'm talking about guys who play 50%+ of their hands.  One guy specifically, would limp, call any size raise to hit any part of the flp and go with it.  8-10x the bb he would limp, call with any connector, or any suited Queen or better.  Magically, in 7 hours I  was the only good player at the table who was never able to make a hand vs these players. but it happens

So, just came back on tues from chicago.  Started wed with $1348.  got up to $2081 end of Sat, took out $700 this morning (have to pay bills),
so now I"m at $1377 and playing right now, + I'm not including any RB which adds like $50+ per day .  In about 23.5 hours.  I just lost about $150 4 betting a manaic who woke up with QQ... I had 1010.  just bad luck.  he thinks Q10s is the nuts... I couldn't fold 1010 to him 3 handed.

My goal is to make enough money so I'm not so broke anymore, so anyone feel free to tell me how I should probably playing twice as many hours as I am or any other positive thoughts...  It's hard to discipline yourself sometimes but I'm working on it.

So the name: deadusapoker.  The reason for the name is because every day it feels like poker in the usa dies a little more.  out of the 5 checks I have requested from full tilt since epass went busto, 1 bounced, and 3 never came, and talking to their support is about as useful as hitting yourself in the face with a dead fish.  My old site I used to play on all the time was a microgaming/prima site, and they took my whole bankroll in the middle of the night.  So, not having a real job, and getting paid once in two months, I feel like poker from the USA may now be very -EV

But still I grind on. Because there is just so much money floating around online.  I laugh when I read strategy posts on cardrunners or 2p2 about people wanting to improve there game... get with it.  Winning is not the hard part, it's actually getting the sites to pay you!  And managing your money enough that you can afford to suddenly have month long cash out delays, even from stars.  After saying that though, Stars Is the most reliable site in my experiences for us players, and unfortunately every player above NL100 seems to be a multitabling reg. **not that they are that good, but just better than the fishy euro players, such as anyone from the dutch

That should efficiently explain the name .